Excerpt & Giveaway: I Never Knew Myself by Melanie Rachel

Hello, dear readers! My guest today is Melanie Rachel, who is here to share an excerpt from her latest Pride and Prejudice variation, I Never Knew Myself. This one sounds fantastic, and after reading the excerpt, I’m sure you’ll all agree. Please give Melanie a warm welcome!

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In I Never Knew Myself, Elizabeth Windham, who is Lady Matlock’s niece and goddaughter, is abducted from her family’s home in Derbyshire.

Writing this story required that I do a little research on what we know about memory in children. I learned there is a cognitive process we all go through that psychologists call “childhood amnesia,” which means that once we pass a certain age, we do not retain episodic memories (everyday events) from the ages of two to four, and do not retain most of our memories before the age of ten. While there are always exceptions to the rules, this appears to be the norm.

Therefore, when Elizabeth in INKM arrives at Longbourn at nearly five years old, she remembers everything—but nobody is listening. As she grows up, she loses most of those childhood memories, only recalling things in patchy, disconnected ways and in her dreams.

This excerpt shows how it begins. I hope you enjoy it!

Longbourn, Autumn 1796

Elizabeth sat at breakfast longer than was her wont. The day was sunny and warm for the time of year, and Aunt Bennet eventually insisted they go out of doors to relieve her nerves.

The girls moved out beyond the garden and the home farm to the stream. They spoke of baby Mary, and Elizabeth mentioned her brother John was two years old.

Jane gave her a reproving look. “Papa says that John must be a boy you met on the ship. Was he nice?”

Elizabeth’s lips drew down in a scowl. “He is my brother.”

Jane’s brows pinched together. “Did you not say that Robbie was your brother?”

“He is.” Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest. “They both are.”

Jane smiled. “I see,” she said in a mild voice that made Elizabeth want to stamp her feet. She hoisted herself up on a boulder and gazed out on the water unhappily. She kicked her heels against the rock, first one, then the other.

“You will ruin your shoes,” Jane warned. “Mama will be upset.”

Elizabeth gazed unhappily at her dull brown shoes. The dragon man had taken her pretty red ones. She sighed noisily and stopped swinging her legs. She dropped to the ground and strolled to the water’s edge. She plucked a long piece of grass and placed it on the water, watching as it floated away.

At home, she would have been invited to eat in the breakfast room instead of the nursery. Papa might even carry her downstairs, and there would be a little cake on her plate. Mama would have sung a song just for her. Robbie would be especially nice to her all day long. But then Robbie was always nice to her.

Did Uncle Bennet even know it was her birthday? Papa should have told him. But Papa was in India, wherever that was. And Uncle Bennet did not know about Mama or Robbie or John or Fitzy or Mal or even Willum. Two fat tears ran hot over her cheeks, and she rubbed at them with the back of her hand. She wanted to go home, but they all thought she was telling a story. Everyone was kind to her here, but nobody ever listened.

Melanie Rachel’s I Never Knew Myself is now available on Amazon.

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About I Never Knew Myself

Elizabeth Bennet is living a lie.

She’s known since she was fifteen that she isn’t truly a Bennet, but who is she? Are the people and places that appear in her dreams just a sign of her active imagination, or are they memories of her true family? Could the stories she’d told Jane when they were children not be stories at all?

Fitzwilliam Darcy is reliving a nightmare.

He hasn’t dreamed of “Ellie” Windham in years, but after meeting Elizabeth Bennet, he is reminded of the day little Ellie was kidnapped. And now he is left to wonder whether he is drawn to more than her fine eyes.

When Darcy realizes that Elizabeth and Ellie might be one and the same, he is anxious to return her to the Windhams, and Elizabeth is no less eager to meet her family. But when the idyllic reunion she longed for goes awry, both Darcy and Elizabeth wonder whether it’s really possible to put a broken family back together again.

Can Darcy help Elizabeth find her place in her first family so she can one day join him in his?

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Giveaway

Melanie is generously offering a copy of I Never Knew Myself to one lucky reader: paperback (U.S. only) or ebook (international). To enter, please leave a comment with your email address. This giveaway will be open through Tuesday, March 31, 2020. The winner will be chosen randomly and announced in the comments section of this post. Good luck!

Thank you, Melanie, for being my guest today, and congratulations on your new release!